Kim Crosses Over
by Mahler Avatar
Summary: It's not what you you think. And it's not that either. Just read the intro, you'll get the idea. The cover image should give you a clue... (And much thanks to FitzOblong for his permission to use.)
1. Chapter 1

_Three weeks before the final episode of Kim Possible was aired in September 2007, a new Disney cartoon series debuted entitled Phineas and Ferb. Right away I noticed quite a few similarities between the two shows, so many in fact that it seemed certain that there had been at least some influence by KP on the writers of P&F. But even after several years of intense research, I could find no direct, incontrovertible proof of this. _

_Until now..._

_Hiring Shego (who's been doing mercenary work ever since Kim Possible's cancellation), and utilizing her legendary thieving skills, she successfully breached the secret Disney Studio vault containing rare first drafts of the never filmed KP Season Five episodes, including the one you are about to read. But now that Shego and I have conclusively proven the Kim Possible/Phineas and Ferb connection, we're now both fugitives on the run from Disney's implacable team of lawyers. With them hot on our tails, we now fear for our very lives. But you, gentlereaders, have a right to know the truth!_

_And BTW, Shego also discovered Walt Disney's body in an adjoining vault, kept in stasis not by cryogenics as has been long suspected, but by being encased in carbonite. So we now have discovered proof of an early Disney/Lucasfilm connection as well! Too bad Shego forgot to put film in the camera, so you'll just have to take our word for it..._

_And to placate those aforementioned lawyers, Kim Possible and Phineas & Ferb are both owned by The Mouse, and I receive no remuneration for this work of fiction other than the joy of exercising my wild and unpredictable imagination. And leave a review, you'll get a reply. _

_Enjoy!_

* * *

It was a beautiful warm summer morning in Middleton. It was also the first day of summer vacation for Jim and Tim Possible, twin brothers of the famous world-saving heroine, Kim Possible. Both of them were currently in the backyard of their suburban home, excitedly preparing for the launch of a large home-built rocket they had just built with the help of their father, renowned rocket scientist Dr. James Possible.

Jim confidently declared, "Well, Tim, once we've placed this sub-orbital rocket in a geosynchronous orbit above Middleton, we'll be able to watch the entire Tri-City Solstice Day Parade from the comfort of our own living room!"

Kim however was watching them like a hawk from her bedroom window. She rushed down the stairs, yelling for her mother, the eminent neurosurgeon Dr. Ann Possible.

"Moooom! Jim and Tim are making a launch sequence!"

Kim grabbed her mother and swept her into the backyard, only to discover that her father was now standing right alongside his two sons.

Ann greeted her husband with a pleasant, "Well, good morning, honey. Kim was just telling me something about a launch sequence?"

He replied with a jaunty, "Oh, hello, dear. Just giving our two moppets a spot of help on their smashing new enterprise, eh, wot?"

Tim chimed in, "Righty-o, guv'nor!"

Ann raised an eyebrow at not only her husband's speech but his gaudy costume as well. "Well, that's just super, but what's with the English accent and that unusual get up?"

"Oh, this?" He indicated his bright red outfit, which resembled a 19th-century British general's uniform. "Well, I'm trying out for a part in a Gilbert & Sullivan operetta that the Middleton Light Opera Company will be performing, and I'm heading off for my audition as soon as we finish launching this rocket."

"Well, that explains _you_, but what about Tim? He seems to have picked up the same weird accent."

"Not a problem, dear. He's just helping me to stay in character."

"Oh. Well then, good luck with that. I'm off to the hospital, brain surgeries to perform this morning, you know."

Kim gushed, "Ooh, and as soon as Dad's gone, that means I'm in charge, right?"

With a heavy sigh, Ann relented. "Yes, Kim. As soon as your dad is gone, you're in charge."

Kim sneered at her brothers. "Hear that, Tweebs? _I'm_ in charge. So no 'accidental' firing of any ballistic missiles at your elementary school like you did _last_ summer."

Jim whined, "Aw, Kim, you're no fun!"

But James crossed his arms and sternly began lecturing the twins. "Your sister's absolutely right, boys. It's a good thing that Middleton Elementary was unoccupied and fully insured, or else you'd both be grounded for _life _for that little stunt."

Kim placed her fists on her hips and snarled, "Yeah, so I'm keeping my eyes on you two, at least until I get together with Ron after he gets off from his shift at Bueno Nacho."

She muttered under her breath, "And I _really_ have to do something about that dorky hat with the silly Naco on top of it that he's forced to wear..."

And with a flip of her fiery red hair, she smugly marched back into the house.

James then announced, "All right boys, we're ready for launch. Jim, if you'll do the honors?"

"I'd be happy to, Dad. T-minus 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Blast Off!"

He pushed the firing button, and the rocket took off in a perfect arc above the city.

James beamed proudly. "Ah, another perfect launch. Well, I'm off to my audition, so wish me luck. Tally-ho!"

Tim waved as he left. "Cheerios! Best of luck, Dad!"

Just then, Cindy from across the street walked into the yard, followed by Wade and Ron's cousin, Shaun.

Wearing her Pixie Scout uniform, Cindy gave Jim a longing look and queried, "Hi Jim! Whatcha doin'?"

"Oh, hi Cindy. Just launching a rocket so we can watch the Tri-City Solstice Day Parade on our computer."

She warmly continued, "That's really cool! So when you're done with that, could I ask you guys for a real big favor?"

"Sure! What can we do for you?"

"Well, Pixie Scouts Troop 2-4-6-8-10 was going to be in the parade today, and we had made a real super-looking float, but Shaun here wrecked it when he used it for target practice with his bow and arrows. So our troop doesn't have a float now, and even worse, we won't be able to earn our Parade Float achievement patch either!"

Cindy shot Shaun a very cross look, to which he responded with an off-handed shrug.

"Hey, I'm a mean-spirited bully. It's what I do."

Wade angrily added, "Not only that, but I just caught him trying to feed poor Rufus to his pet iguana!"

He gently placed the naked mole rat on the ground, who immediately snarled at Shaun. "_GRRRRRRRRR_!"

Jim replied in surprise, "Well, Wade, thanks for saving Rufus, but dude! What's up with your voice? It's so high!"

Wade painfully squeaked back, "I have Shaun to thank for that too. He gave me a super wedgie right before we walked over here, and by my precise mathematical calculations, I'm now speaking exactly two octaves above my normal range!"

Irritated at the interruption, Cindy tried to persist with her request. "Anyway, we need a replacement float as soon as possible, since the parade starts in only a few hours."

She smiled coquettishly at the object of her affection while batting her beautiful eyes. "So, Jim, do you think you might be able to help us?"

With a confident smile, he replied, "Sure, Cindy, no problem!"

He turned to his brother with a look of supreme confidence. "Tim, I know what we're going to do today! And I think I just might have the answer. But I'm going to need Dad's portable nuclear accelerator from his lab, along with some other stuff. But with a little luck, I think I can have everything we need delivered to us in just under an hour."

Jim suddenly noticed that Ron's pet was missing again. "Hey, where's Rufus?"

At that moment, Rufus was carefully looking out of the kitchen window to make sure he wasn't being observed. Certain now that he hadn't been spotted, he donned a tiny fedora. Lifting up a plate of Bueno Nacho burritos on the kitchen counter, he discovered the secret passage directly beneath it and quickly jumped in. He was swiftly transported to the secret headquarters of GJTOWAEPA, otherwise known as _Global Justice: The Organization Without An Easily Pronounceable Acronym_. Landing in a small comfortable chair, he waited patiently for the huge electronic viewscreen before him to activate. Dr. Betty Director, the one-eyed leader of Global Justice, immediately appeared and began to speak in a low, gruff voice.

"Good morning, Agent R. Well, Dr. Drakken is up to his old tricks. Or maybe it's new tricks. Possibly even old tricks with a new twist. That's it! Old plans to either take over the world or destroy Kim Possible, dusted off and rehashed into new and exciting forms, which are _still _ultimately doomed to failure, yada-yada. Isn't that right, Will?"

Her assistant, Will Du, moaned his reply. "Whatever you say, sir."

Rufus looked confused about Will's rather downcast mood.

Betty continued, "Oh, don't worry about Will, Agent R. He was recently demoted to unpaid intern status after that debacle concerning Duff Killigan and Professor Green."

Will whined, "But sir, that wasn't my fault!"

She brusquely responded, "Will, you didn't even know whether he was a Doctor or a Professor! And stop calling me 'sir,' I'm a woman, for crying out loud!"

"Well, you could have fooled me, what with that white mustache you're wearing right now. And by the way, for some reason your voice is a lot deeper today than usual."

Flustered, Betty quickly replied, "Oh, _that_. The 'stache is just a disguise I'm trying out for some undercover work, and I just discovered that I'm extremely allergic to topiaries, which has really affected my voice something fierce."

Will waved a dismissive hand. "Whatever you say, sir."

Betty glared at him once more before turning back to address Rufus. "Anywho, Dr. Drakken has been buying up huge amounts of cutesy toys, frilly girl's clothing, teen makeup and fashion magazines throughout the Tri-City Area. That's just, uh, _weird_. Well, weirder than usual for him at least. But no doubt he's up to no good and planning something evil. So you know what to do, Agent R. Now go out and put a stop to him! Good luck!"

Giving Betty a smart salute, Rufus ejected from his chair and blasted out of Global Justice HQ in his tiny hover jet, swiftly rocketing over the skies of Middleton.

At that very moment, the Middleton High School Cheerleaders were practicing outdoors when they suddenly spotted Rufus flying through the air. They instantly broke out in a musical cheer which echoed across the playing field.

"_AAA __**- **__GENT __**-**__ RRRRR!_"

He gave them a smile and a tip of his hat in acknowledgment. Soon reaching Drakken's timeshare lair, he ejected from his craft and swooped down on a miniature hang-glider. The building was clearly marked with a large garish sign which read, _**Drakken Evil Incorporated. **_Quickly breaking down the front door, he surprised the mad scientist and immediately assumed an attack stance.

Drakken angrily responded, "Rufus the Mole Rat? Why didn't you just knock? Now that door's going to need to be replaced, and since this is a time share, the management is going to add the repair bill for that to _my _monthly rent, which I'm already behind on, by the way, so _you're_ going to need to pay to have it fixed."

Rufus merely gave a tiny shrug in response, followed by a curious look at the evil scientist's unusual garb.

"Oh, so you were expecting me to be wearing my usual _dark blue_ lab coat? Well, it's at the cleaners, so I had to wear the only other thing in my closet, which was this old _white_ lab coat. Satisfied?"

Rufus carefully nodded.

Drakken huffed, "Well, anyway, you're here now. And you're _early_ today, by the way. So since I'm not quite ready with my evil monologue, why don't you just enjoy some cheese in the meantime? I have a plate of your favorite types all made up for you, so please just help yourself, it's sitting right over there."

He pointed toward a dish on the floor filled with all manor of delicious cheese tidbits, ripe for the taking. Rufus instantly rushed over to the plate, and after an experimental sniff, began to hungrily dig in. But the very next moment, a round cage that looked exactly like a classic mousetrap clanged down on top of Rufus, trapping him.

Drakken rubbed his hands together in evil glee and cackled, "Ha-hah! I've trapped you, Rufus the Mole Rat! Now you're completely in my power! So now I get to regale you with my newest evil scheme, with which I will simultaneously defeat Kim Possible _and_ take over the _entire Tri-City Area!_"

With a grand flourish, Drakken pulled the covering off of his latest device and announced, "Behold, the De-Frou-Frou-Inator!"

Rufus responded with a typical roll of his eyes. Drakken immediately shot back, "Oh, I _saw_ that, Rufus the Mole Rat! Don't think you can get away with dissing me and my new Inator, especially while I'm in my own lair, no way, José! I spent a lot of time and effort on this device and would really appreciate a little more respect."

Rufus silently crossed his arms and waited for the mad scientist to continue.

"Good, that's much better. But first, a little backstory for explanation. When I was a child back in the tiny European duchy of Drakkonia, my mother liked to dress me in frilly girl's clothing."

Both of Rufus' tiny eyebrows shot up in surprise.

Drakken hastily continued, "But not because I _acted _like a girl, mind you, I'm very confident in my own masculinity, thank you very much. Well, at least most of the time. Except maybe when facing Kim Possible or suffering from the _interminable_ insults from my sidekick, Shego. Right, Shego? SHEGO!"

His attractive young sidekick had been listening to her mePod over in one corner, and hadn't heard a single word he'd said. She lifted one headphone and muttered, "Huh, what was that, Dr. D?"

Rufus gave her a shocked look when he saw what she was wearing. Instead of her usual green and black catsuit, she was now dressed in an all black Goth-style outfit with a button-down front, high collar and stiletto heels.

She tried to shrug off her unusual attire. "Oh, don't be too concerned, Rufus. Just an outfit for a musical I'm auditioning for this afternoon, that's all."

Not quite convinced, Rufus turned back to Dr. Drakken who continued with, "Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Anyway, Mama Lipsky already had a strapping young boy around the house in the guise of my cousin, Motor Ed. You may recall that he's just became the mayor of Middleton, how he managed _that _I'll probably never know, but that's neither here nor there I suppose."

He let out a disgruntled sigh as he pressed on. "In any case, she already had a boy, but she wanted a girl to sort of, well, balance things out. So _I _was nominated for that dubious honor. Now, after years of therapy from being emotionally scarred by the experience, I've decided to put an end to _all _things girly and feminine by using the De-Frou-Frou-Inator, which will turn them into their manly equivalents!"

He cackled evilly as he warmed up to his insidious plot. "Just think of it, Rufus the Mole Rat! Skirts and blouses will be replaced by pants and shirts! Cutesy stuffed animals will be turned into toy lizards and frogs! 'Hello Kitty' will be transformed into '_Hello_ _Fang_!' Teen fashion slicks will be turned into sports and auto repair magazines! Even the color _pink_ shall be completely replaced with a masculine shade of _blue_!"

Rufus looked on in horror as the evil doctor concluded, "Sugar and spice and everything nice will simply _disappear_, only to be replaced by snips and snails and puppy dog's tails! Every female will become so despondent, and every male so upset over their despondency, that they'll do _anything_ to change things back to the way they were. That's when _I _step in and offer to fix everything, but _only_ if I am declared the permanent and irrevocable ruler over the _ENTIRE TRI-CITY AREA!_"

He folded his arms and gave Rufus a smug look. "So, what do you think of _them_ apples, Rufus the Mole Rat?"

Rufus replied with a tiny burp, having just finished the last of his cheese. He blushed as he giggled, "Oops! 'Scuze me..."

Meanwhile, back at the Possible household, Kim's best friend Yori knocked at the door.

"Hey, Kim!"

"Hey, Yori! You're just in time to help me keep an eye on my brothers, just in case they do anything even remotely bustable."

"But Kim, weren't we going down to the mall to pick up the brand new Ducky Momo Cuddle Buddy? You've been looking forward to getting that stuffed animal for almost a week now."

Kim snapped her fingers in irritation. "Ooh, that's right. But I'm in charge of the Tweebs now while Mom and Dad are gone. So do I give in to my urge to bust my brothers, or to my excitement over obtaining my newest Cuddle Buddy?"

She impatiently tapped her foot as she cogitated on her decision. "Hmm. Busting urge or Cuddle Buddy... Busting urge or Cuddle Buddy... "

Yori simply rolled her almond-shaped eyes as she muttered, "I just know where _this_ is going to end up..."

But Kim surprised her by saying, "Well, since it'll probably take the Tweebs a while to build whatever they end up creating today, we'll pick up my Cuddle Buddy first, which will give me the thrill of both instant _and _delayed gratification when I bust them after we get back! But we'll have to be quick, so let's roll, Yori!"

Grabbing her hapless Asian friend, Kim threw her into the front seat of her Sloth SL coupe and slammed the door. "Hold on tight, Yori! Middleton Mall, here we come!"

Kim floored the coupe and tore off down the street at breakneck speed, while Yori desperately tried to buckle her seat belt. "Yeah, if I live that long..."

As Kim raced away, a parcel truck arrived at the Possible home. The delivery man removed a medium-sized package from his vehicle and walked up to Jim.

The man queried, "Hey, aren't you a little young to be using an unlicensed nuclear accelerator?"

Jim cheerfully answered, "Why yes, yes we are!"

"All right then, sign here please."

Jim quickly signed the receipt and opened the box. "Perfect!"

As the first delivery truck left, another one arrived with a several cases of multicolored mylar sheets, a gross of duct tape rolls and ten tanks of helium. While the items were all carted into the backyard, Jim laid out the blueprints for all to see.

"Okay everybody, here's my plan..."

_**TBC...**_


	2. Chapter 2

_Welcome to the second installment in my whacked-out almost-crossover. This week the Tweebs explain their plan, Drakken hits an unexpected obstacle, and Shego explores her creative side as she tries out for a part in a musical(!). But first my thanks to this week's reviewers: Rick 455, CajunBear73, Sharper the Writer, pbow, Sentinel103, Jimmy 1201, Beckman, Katsumara, and Guest. Now, on with the show!_

* * *

Rapt with attention, everyone waited for Jim to explain his brilliant idea.

"First, we'll borrow one of Kim's Cuddle Buddies, then use Dad's unlicensed nuclear accelerator to increase the space between its atomic structure. That should enlarge it to _just_ the size we need. Then we'll attach the mylar sheets in order to make it airtight, fill it up with helium, and presto! Instant parade float! Hicka-bicka-boo?"

"Hoo-sha!" was Tim's quick reply. "But won't Kim go ballistic if we use one of her Cuddle Buddies without asking?"

Jim grinned back, "Hey, that's never stopped us before, right? We'll just call it _secret borrowing_. Besides, she'll be so gaga over her_ new_ Ducky Momo Cuddle Buddy that she probably won't even notice one of them is missing. Then once the parade is over, we reverse the process and no one will be the wiser!"

Cindy exhaled a sigh of tender delight. "That sounds fantastic, Jim!"

She smiled at him from beneath hooded eyes. "So maybe I should thank you properly in advance by giving you something you might _really _like..."

But as she puckered her lips to give him a kiss, Jim replied excitedly, "Ooh, like maybe a case of Bacon & Chive Pixie Muffins, perhaps? It's an oft misunderstood flavor, but it's actually my favorite!"

Cindy's tender sigh quickly turned into a huff. "That's not exactly what I had in mind..."

Oblivious to her flirtatious advance, he announced, "Okay then, everybody! Let's get started!"

Just then, Ron Stoppable arrived, done with his morning shift at Bueno Nacho. "Hey guys, what's up?"

Jim replied, "Oh, just designing a parade float for Cindy's Pixie Scout troop. Hey, what have you got there?"

He noticed that Ron was holding a brand new Ducky Momo Cuddle Buddy.

Ron answered, "Just a present for Kim's birthday. I was going to surprise her with this."

"Ooh. Well, that's really thoughtful of you, but Kim and Yori just left a few minutes ago to pick one of those up at the mall."

Crestfallen, Ron whined, "Oh, man! I just spent half of my Bueno Nacho paycheck for this! Now I guess I'll just have to return it."

Jim snapped his fingers. "Well, maybe not! We could increase its size with my dad's nuclear accelerator and use it as the Pixie Scout float for the Tri-City Solstice Day Parade, and then you could give it to Kim afterward. She'd be the only person in the country with a fifty-foot-tall Ducky Momo Cuddle Buddy! Wouldn't that be cool?"

Ron instantly brightened up. "You're right, that _would _be totally badical!"

He immediately handed Jim the stuffed animal, who placed it on the ground while Tim charged up the Atomic Accelerator.

"All right, Tim. Hit it!"

Throwing the switch, a bright beam of green energy shot out of the device. Within seconds, the stuffed toy had increased to nearly fifty feet in height.

"All right, everyone! Use the yellow mylar sheets to cover its body and attach the orange ones to its bill and feet."

Wade squeaked, "But what are we going to stick them on with?"

"Why, with _duck_ tape of course!"

Everyone groaned in unison, but quickly got to work.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Drakken's lair, the mad scientist was cruelly taunting Rufus.

He began with a snicker, "All is now prepared, Rufus the Mole Rat! Now all I need to do is aim the De-Frou-Frou-Inator and push the red firing button."

He twirled his finger over the button. "The _bright red_ firing button. The bright red _candy-colored _firing button..."

Rufus rolled his eyes.

Drakken muttered, "Okay, okay, I know, I'm just trying to build up some dramatic tension here, so here goes."

But just as he plunged his finger down, a sad whine was heard as all the electricity suddenly went off.

"Oh, just great. NOW what?"

He slapped himself on the forehead. "Of course! I forgot to pay the electric bill again! But I can't leave you alone here while I go take care of that, you might escape somehow like you always seem to do."

He scratched his chin in thought. "Hmm, so what to do now?"

Coming up with an idea, he yelled out, "Shego? SHEGO!"

Irritated by this new interruption, she pulled off her earphones and moaned, "What is it now, Dr. D?"

"I need you to go down and pay the electric bill for me so they'll turn the power back on."

She shook her head in disapproval as she snarked, "That's the _third time_ this year, Drakken. For a supposedly brilliant mad scientist, you sure don't plan ahead very well."

He huffed back, "Well, it's easy to forget these mundane things when I'm so busy coming up with my brilliant schemes to take over the Tri-City Area, you know."

She responded with a dry laugh. "Well, that light bulb above your head actually looks pretty dim right about now. You really need to start tying a string around your finger to remember these things. Or maybe even write it down on a calendar or your day planner! What a concept!"

He gritted his teeth in irritation. "Now, now, Shego. Zip the lip, I can really do without your sarcasm right now."

Quickly scribbling out the check, he handed it to Shego. "Here's the payment and the the bill. Please take it down to the electric company right away, would you please?"

But she snickered back, "Sorry Dr. D, but I have an audition in just a half hour, so I don't have time to do that right now. See you later!" She muttered under her breath, "Much, MUCH later, I hope..."

As Shego slammed the door behind her, Drakken griped, "Man, it's hard to get good help in a small town! Or a medium-sized suburb as the case may be. Well, Rufus the Mole Rat, it looks like I'm going to have to pay it myself. But I shouldn't be too long. So in the meantime, why don't you have some more cheese? I have some extra slices in the fridge." He continued with a moan, "Which is _off_ of course since the power's down."

As he trudged into the kitchen, he asked, "So what's your preference: cheddar, gouda or provolone? I even have some pepper jack left over from that cocktail party I threw the other night for the new evil organization I just joined called C.U.T.I.E.P.I.E, which stands for the _Coalition of Underhanded Thugs Intending Evil Plans Imperiling Everybody_."

He continued with a huff, "And also the one where absolutely _no one_ I invited even showed up..."

As he placed the plate of cheese in front of Rufus, he warned, "I'll be back in a few minutes, but before you get any bright ideas about escaping while I'm gone, I've got another surprise for you."

He opened the closet door, behind which stood a smiling female robot. "Behold my newest creation, N.O.R.M.A.!"

Rufus' eyes shot wide open in surprise.

"Norma is my acronym for _Nice Obedient Respectful Mechanical Automaton_. She's a revised version of one of my old Bebe bots. Actually a downgrade in some ways, as they all eventually got too smart for me and wouldn't follow my orders anymore. So I created this new robot with absolutely _no_ artificial intelligence whatsoever. It will follow my orders precisely and to the letter. Right, Norma?"

The robot happily smiled back, "That's right, Dr. Drakken!"

The mad scientist continued, "And she doesn't sass me back like Shego does. I swear, Shego acts just like a rebellious teenager sometimes... Oh, and in case you were wondering, Norma is impervious to power outages since she runs on _squirrel power_."

Norma obliged Rufus by opening her access panel, revealing a squirrel frantically running within a wheel.

Next he commanded, "Norma, I need to go pay my electric bill. While I'm gone, please make sure that Rufus here doesn't escape in the meantime."

Her mechanical smile flipped upside down to form a frown while her eyes began to glow bright red. "Understood, Dr. Drakken. Is deadly force authorized?"

He waved her off. "Oh, no! That certainly won't be necessary. Just make sure he doesn't get away while I'm gone, that's all. I'll be right back."

As soon as Drakken left, Norma planted herself in front of the door, blocking Rufus' escape. The naked mole rat scratched his tiny chin in thought, pondering exactly how literal Norma was in carrying out her instructions. Sensing a possible loophole, he carefully lifted up the cage that he was trapped under, inoperable now that the power was off. Norma remained vigilant and lifted her mechanical arms in warning, but made no move toward him. Figuring she would remain in place unless he made a move in the direction of the door or the window, he moved slowly toward the De-Fru-Fru-Inator. As expected, she carefully watched him but remained perfectly still.

Opening the Inator's access panel, he removed its fuse. Pleased at his success so far, he next disabled his trap by chewing through the wires leading to it. Confident that both the Inator and his trap would remain inactive once the power was restored, he placed the fuse under his hat, slinked back underneath the trap and awaited Drakken's return.

* * *

Meanwhile, Shego rushed into her audition with just moments to spare.

The music director acknowledged, "Ah, wecome, Miss Go! And right on time. So, let's hear what you've got to sing for us today."

Shego grinned back, "My pleasure. Hit it, boys!"

The rock band began its pounding intro as she began to sing.

_You can't do it, I can run, but you can't hunt me down.  
You can try but you can't stop me and you're losing ground.  
I'm light on my feet and I punch with a crunch,  
I hit with heavy plasma, make you lose your lunch._  
_I'm abrasive and snarky, a cherry bomb, I'm She!_

_Wanted in eleven countries, I'm the one to beat,_  
_I'm a fresh blast of plasma burnin' at your feet.  
I've got a __plasmatic__ sting, when I rain I pour.  
I'm the best of the best, and __I'll wipe you with the floor!_

_My voice can etch glass, and I always talk back, I'm She.  
I'm the first and last baddest wolf in the pack, I'm She!_

_I'm a strong woman, snark-talkin', Drak-ken boss mockin',_  
_Atheletic, fight-frenetic, jail-breakin', evil-makin'_  
_Speedin' air car driver that just won't stop!  
I'm a green and black sundae with a cherry on top!_

_I'm a down-puttin', sure-footin'  
Secret lab'ratory lootin',_  
_Princess-lashin', pumpkin-smashin',  
Cup-cake Kimmie bashin'! I can snark on cue, I can fight with kung fu,  
I'm cinnamon sprinkles on your co-co moo! _

_I'm a kung-fu slayer in a title fight._  
_I'm a green & black kitten with a nasty bite.  
I'm the sexy double-feature on a Friday night! _

_I'm She! I'm She!_

Shego finished by doing the splits, her arms pumped up over her head in victory.

But instead of being greeted with overwhelming applause, the audition panel simply stared back at her with their jaws hanging open in shock.

After a few moments, the music director diplomatically began, "Well, that was quite, ah, impressive. But you _do_ understand that this audition is for a part in the light classical operetta, "The Pirates of Penzance?" Not much need for a rock anthem in _that_. But thanks for auditioning anyway. Next!"

Shego angrily fired up her hands with a bright flash of plasma, but extinguished them just moments later.

She muttered under her breath, "Hmm. Just in case I've still got a chance for a part, it's probably not a good idea to torch the audition staff_..._"

* * *

_(A/N: Next week, Steve Barkin makes an appearance as the Brigadier Pixie Leader, while Kim gets literally carried away with her plans to bust the Tweebs, and Rufus inevitably foils Drakken's bizarre plot to take over the Tri-City Area. _

_And in case you were wondering, the parody lyrics of **I'm She** are based on the song **I'm Me **from the Phineas and Ferb episode **Vanessassary Roughness, **which you can check out on You Tube in order to catch the flavor...)_

_**To Be Concluded...**_


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks as always to all those who have read, and especially those who have graced with a review: CajunBear73, Sharper the Writer, Katsumara, Beckman and Sentinel103._

_And now on to the grand finale, Revenge of the Cuddle Buddy..._

* * *

Back in the Possible backyard, everyone smiled as they gazed up at the Ducky Momo Cuddle Buddy now floating high above the Pixie Scouts mobile platform.

Jim beamed, "Well, Cindy, all done! Now all we need to do is get it to the parade."

Cindy heaved a sigh of relief just as their troop leader, Steve Barkin, drove up. "Perfect! Our ride is here, and just in time: the parade starts in just ten minutes!"

With military precision, Mr. Barkin exited his car and gruffly commanded, "All right ladies! Good job in getting that float repaired so quickly. So you'll all be earning not only your Parade Float achievement patch, but your Balloon Repair patch as well."

All the girls cheered wildly as Mr. Barkin continued, "And as your Brigadier Pixie, it will be my duty to tow your completed float behind my car. Now, does everyone have their Pixie Muffins ready to toss out to the crowd?"

Cindy chirped, "You bet, Mr. Barkin! We Pixies stick together! All right, Troop 2-4-6-8-10! Hit it, girls!"

As Mr. Barkin attached the tow bar to the mobile platform, the girls all began to sing the Pixie Scouts theme song.

_We're Pixie Scouts one and all__  
__And together we will sell__  
__Our Pixie Muffins have gooey stuffins  
Our sales pitch you can't quell__  
__We're Pixie Scouts as you can tell...  
And we fiercely sell as well!_

Jim queried, "Hey, can we come along too?"

Cindy gushed, "Sure thing, Jim! It was your idea for the new float, and since everyone helped build it, that's only fair. So everybody climb on board!"

Mr. Barkin began towing them all down the street just as Kim and Yori returned from the mall. Kim instantly recognized her brothers as she drove past them.

"Hey! Where are the Tweebs and all their friends going? And what's that floating in the air above them?"

Yori shot her a surprised look. "Kim, it looks like a huge Ducky Momo Cuddle Buddy."

Kim growled, "Well, where did they get it and where are they taking it? We'd better follow them and find out exactly what's going on. And since they did it without permission, we'll be able to bust them for sure!"

Yori held on for dear life as Kim did an incredibly fast 180-degree turn as she roared off in pursuit of her brothers.

The pert Asian's face quickly turned green as Kim's violent maneuvers began to make her extremely carsick.

"Kim-chan, if you do not slow down, it will be my honor to toss my fortune cookies on front seat of your car..."

Back at Drakken Evil Incorporated, Dr. D had just returned to his lair. Seeing Rufus still apparently trapped in his cage, he grinned.

"Thank you, Norma. And now that my electric bill is paid, the power should be coming back on any minute now."

But as soon as Drakken had returned Norma to the closet, Rufus flipped over his cage and assumed an attack stance.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing? And how did you just escape?"

Rufus replied with a swift judo kick to Drakken's head.

"Ow! That hurt! _Now_ you've done it! No more cheese for _you_, Rufus the Mole Rat!"

The battle quickly commenced, each adversary jockeying for position as they began throwing wild punches and kicks at the other. But mere seconds into the fight, the power suddenly resumed.

Drakken snickered, "Aha! It looks like your time has _just run out!_ Now, behold the power of my _De-Fru-Fru-Inator!_"

Drakken hit the firing button, but the device failed to activate. "Hey! What gives?"

He noticed the open access panel and missing fuse just as Rufus connected with another flying kick.

"Ow! All right, that's it, Rufus the Mole Rat! No more Mr. Nice Guy!"

Turning to the closet door, he called out, "Oh, NORR-maa! A little help here, please?"

His obsequious robot crashed through the door, splintering it into pieces.

"Oh, well," he sighed. "I can see now that I won't be getting _any_ of my rental deposit back... Norma, please grab Rufus the Mole Rat and hold him tightly."

The robot quickly seized Rufus, and he began struggling in vain to free himself. As a result, his fedora fell to the floor, and out rolled the Inator's fuse.

Drakken snickered, "And I'll just be taking _that_, thank you very much."

Popping the fuse back in, he triumphantly declared, "Now behold the incredible power of my _fully-operational De-Fru-Fru-Inator!"_

The device suddenly began firing randomly in all directions, shooting powerful bolts of blue-white energy every which way as Rufus helplessly looked on. The first beam of light hit a little girl's Pretty Pretty Pony stuffed animal, turning it into a fierce looking dragon toy, whereupon the child burst into a flood of tears.

The next shot hit a Forever 18 boutique, instantly transforming it into a King's hardware store, followed by a strike on a hair and nail salon, turning it into a paint ball retailer.

Meanwhile, in downtown Middleton, Donny Rockwaller was being berated by his wife, Tawny. "Well, I see you've used our entire life's savings to invest in a Guy's Warehouse dealership. But you haven't bought a single item of apparel yet, so the racks are completely empty! Our daughter Bonnie was right: you _are _a loser. What, did you think a complete line of men's clothing was just going to fall out of the sky?"

At that moment, a blast from the De-Fru-Fru-Inator hit a moving van traveling on the overpass above them, filled with the entire collection of women's costumes for the Middleton Community Theater. Suddenly transformed into a complete line of men's formal wear, the truck disgorged its contents and fell in a giant heap right on top of both of the Rockwallers.

Donny quipped, "Well, dear, I don't wish to _skirt _the issue, but this _suits_ me just fine."

The next shot was aimed at the downtown area, making a direct hit on Tim's gigantic parade float. It was instantly turned into a fierce looking Golden Eagle, and the Pixie Scouts reacted with a terrifying scream.

Shaun however thought it was hilarious, doubling over in laughter.

"Whoa! Now that's what I'm talking about! I wonder what doofus just did that?"

Jim scratched his head in surprise. "Wow! What in the heck just happened?"

Ron smirked, "I don't know, but no problemo. I'll just use my Mystical Monkey Power to turn it back into Ducky Momo!"

Charging up his energy, he cut loose with a single blue bolt of energy. But instead of changing back into an inanimate Ducky Momo float, Jim's creation suddenly sprung to life. Unfurling its huge wings, the eagle let out a terrific screech.

Ron mumbled, "Oops. Or maybe not..."

Just then, Kim and Yori pulled up and jumped out of the car. Looking on in horror at the huge floating eagle, they both rushed up to Jim and Tim.

"Okay, you troublemakers! What in the heck is going on here? You Tweebs are both _so_ busted! Just wait until I tell Mom!"

Instantly opening her cell phone, she hit #1 on her speed dial.

Mrs. Dr. P immediately looked down at her cell phone and groaned as soon as she saw who was calling.

"Hi, Kim. What are Jim and Tim up to this time?"

Kim blurted out, "Mom! Mom! You've got to come downtown right now! The Tweebs have just created a giant eagle thingy for the parade!"

Ann grumbled, "That actually sounds very creative, Kim. So unless it actually has rockets attached to it and is about to blast into orbit, it'll just have to wait until I get home, since I'm right in the middle of a brain surgery at the moment. So I'll talk to you later. Bye!"

Ann quickly hung up, and Kim responded with an angry "nnnNNNGGGHHH! All right, Tweebs! As the person duly designated by Mom to be in charge, I order you to make that thing go away, RIGHT NOW!"

Unfortunately for Kim, the gigantic bird of prey had been attracted by all of her yelling and screaming. Spying the furious redhead below with its gleaming red eyes, it immediately swooped down and grabbed her with its huge talons, its powerful wings creating a huge downdraft as it rapidly flew away.

Struggling to free herself, Kim yelled, "_That's not what I meannnnnt!_"

As Shaun broke out in uproarious laughter, Tim looked apprehensively at Jim.

"Uh-oh. I think we're in _really_ big trouble now..."

Jim instantly replied, "Quick, activate the camera in the rocket we launched earlier! Maybe we can spot where that eagle is headed before it's too late!"

Activating his Timmunicator, he quickly spotted the bird of prey. "Looks like it's headed right back home. Say, Yori? Could you give us a lift real quick?"

Yori nodded with a deferential bow. "It would be my honor, Tweeb-san."

Jim urged, "Everyone better come along too, and especially Ron. I think we're going to need your Mystical Monkey Powers to turn that thing back into Ducky Momo before it's too late."

Everyone piled into Kim's Sloth coupe and sped off, nearly hitting Shego's car as they roared by. She gave them a dirty look and almost fired a burst of plasma in response, but then noticed exactly who was in the car.

"Hey, those are Kim Possible's brothers! So where are _they_ off to in such a hurry?"

She looked up into the air and saw a huge eagle carrying off a kicking and screaming Kim. She immediately realized who they must be chasing.

She guffawed, "Oh, this is just rich." A wicked smile came over her face as a plan sprung to mind. "And maybe if I can take out that eagle, I can permanently take care of Cupcake as well..."

Shego quickly turned her car around and dashed off in hot pursuit of both the Tweebs and her arch-enemy.

Flying high above Middleton, Kim once again punched #1 on her speed dial. Through the stiff breeze she yelled, "Hi Mom!"

"Kim? I can barely hear you! You sound like you're in a wind tunnel! What's going on?"

"Well, at the moment I'm flying over the city, trapped in the claws of that giant eagle the Tweebs somehow just created. So I need you to come home _right now_ and bust them! AND GET ME DOWN FROM HERE, PLEASE AND THANK YOU!"

"Oh, for the love of... All right, I'm just finishing up here so I'll be home in just a few minutes."

She continued with a chuckle, "So just hang in there!"

Kim groused back, "Very funny, Mom. You're a laugh riot..."

Still trapped in Norma's clutches, Rufus watched helplessly as the De-Frou-Frou-Inator continued to fire. Thinking quickly, he pulled out a piece of cheese he'd been saving for later and opened Norma's access panel. The squirrel inside immediately stopped its running and sniffed the air. Noticing the cheese in Rufus' hand, it sniffed tentatively at the tasty morsel. Rufus tossed it on the floor and was delighted when the squirrel jumped off his wheel in pursuit of the delicious snack.

Now without power, the lights behind Norma's eyes quickly faded as she abruptly dropped Rufus to the floor. Wasting no time, he swiftly dashed over to the De-Frou-Frou-Inator and hit the reverse button.

Drakken bitterly complained, "Hey, no fair, Rufus the Mole Rat!"

Accidentally catching him in its beam, the Inator suddenly turned Drakken's lab coat into a wedding dress, complete with bouquet and train.

"Oh, just great. Now look what you've done! This is _so_ not my color, and besides, I'm allergic to this variety of flower!" With a terrific sneeze, he accidentally hit the self-destruct button, which dutifully began its countdown.

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6..."

"No! No! No!" Drakken lunged for the controls, but tripped over his train instead, which then wrapped itself around his ankles. With a painful thud, the mad scientist fell ignominiously to the floor.

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1..."

The mad scientist frantically tried to untangle himself, but it was too late. The De-Frou-Frou-Inator fired one last bright ray of energy before the coundown reached zero.

"_Curse you, Rufus the Mole Rat!_"

Rufus quickly deployed a tiny hang glider and launched himself off of Drakken's balcony just as the Inator blew up in a terrific explosion.

Meanwhile, the eagle had arrived at the Possible household and began to circle above it just as everyone pulled up. Shadowing them from a distance, Shego also arrived but stayed out of sight about a block away.

As the eagle slowly spirled down, Jim announced, "It looks like he's going to try and land in the tree in our backyard! Ready with your Mystical Monkey Power, Ron?"

Ron began to glow blue as he activated his power, and responded with a fierce war-cry. "Ah-booyah! Eagle, _you're going down!_"

Ron shot his blast of Mystical Monkey Power at the eagle just as Shego fired a bolt of her own plasma, while the De-Fru-Fru-Inator's last beam of energy simultaneously reached its target. With a tremendous flash, all three impacted the gigantic eagle at virtually the same moment. The huge bird of prey was instantly converted back into an inanimate Ducky Momo Cuddle Buddy, promptly exploding in a huge poof of feathers and stuffing. As the fluffy material gently floated to the ground, Kim screamed as she plunged earthward. Fortunately, her fall was broken by the tree, finally dropping into the waiting arms of Ron Stoppable.

She burst at once into a fit of giggles, giving him a dreamy look and sighing, "_Ronnnnn_-nie! Thanks, that was one spankin' catch!"

Relieved that Kim was finally safe, he happily smiled back at her. "No problemo, Kim. All too happy to oblige."

Peeking over the fence only to discover Kim safe and sound, Shego growled, "Darn it, almost had her. Oh well, maybe next time, Princess..." Admitting defeat, she got back in her car and drove away.

At that moment, Rufus sailed in for a landing, his arrival obscured by the floating remains of the Cuddle Buddy. As he removed his fedora and walked toward the happy pair, he gave Shaun an angry snarl as he passed by. "_GRRRRRRRRR_!"

Relieved that Kim as well as Ron's tiny pet were safe and sound, Jim exclaimed, "Oh,_ there_ you are, Rufus!"

Just then, Ann Possible pulled into the driveway. She marched into the back yard and sternly asked, "Okay, Kim. Where's this huge eagle that grabbed you? Or did it just magically disappear at the very moment I showed up, as usual?"

But Kim now only had eyes for Ron, and merely replied with a long, loving sigh, "_Yeahhhhhh_..."

Ann simply rolled her eyes in response. "Oh well, par for the course I suppose." But she did notice the remains of the Ducky Momo Cuddle Buddy now filling all of her planters as well as the flower bed. "Oh, and thank you boys! I love what you've done with the yard. I've been meaning to get some ground cover for weeks now, so I can cross that off of my To Do list. So, who wants cake? I see Ron brought over his famous Seven Layers of Heaven creation, so there should be plenty to go around."

Everyone excitedly responded, "I do! I do!"

As they all piled inside, James Possible walked in the front door. Ann queried, "So how did your audition go, dear?"

James beamed proudly, "Well, congratulate me everyone, I got the part!" He began singing happily to himself, "_I am the very model of a modern rocket scientist..._"

As everyone gorged themselves on Ron's delicious cake, Rufus' tiny wrist communicator beeped. Dr. Director appeared and began, "Good work, Rufus the Mole Rat! Dr. Drakken's latest plot has been foiled, and the Tri-City Area is safe once again."

She began to chuckle. "Oh, and you'll be interested to know that one of our deep cover agents has just discovered that Shego is actually... get this... Dr. Drakken's _daughter!_ And, _heh-heh_, I've just had the extraordinary privilege of informing him of his hitherto unknown progeny. Oh, I wish you could have seen the look on his face: I don't think I've _ever_ seen an expression like that before. Anywho, that should put the kibosh on any potential romantic pairing along _those_ lines, don't you think, Rufus the Mole Rat?"

The tiny rodent gleefully snickered in agreement.

_Meanwhile, back at Drakken Evil Incorporated..._

Dr. Drakken had just revealed the incredible news to Shego, who had responded with a well-placed burst of green plasma to his posterior.

Coughing through the smoke, he griped, "Yes, Shego, that's just the kind of reaction I expected. The apple sure didn't fall far from the tree _this _time, did it? But now you know exactly who you've inherited your excellent skills in evil from!"

Shego gave him a disgusted look. "Let me just clue you in, Dr. D. This isn't like finding out that your father is Darth Vader. It's more like finding out that your dad is... Jar Jar Binks."

He winced. "Ooh, words can hurt, Shego. That's not how I raised you."

She heaved a deep sigh as she rolled her eyes. "Dr. D, you _never_ raised me. Nicole Sullivan actually did..."

**The End**

_Well, there you have it. A bit silly perhaps, but I figured that you could all use a bit of a break from the drama and angst of Between the Stars. So what's next? How about a crossover whose plot bunny has been nibbling away at me for some time now: what happens when Kim's babysitting skills are put to the ultimate test, in the form of an incorrigible child and his pet stuffed tiger? A child named... Calvin._


End file.
